Backyard Potterer’s journal: January
Written and illustrated by: Tiit Kändler
Interesting: the year has run out but still not really out. There is always another year to be had somewhere. So the year is just as lack of money that really has no end in this world. The more money man has the more money he lacks. The more years man has the fewer days he has left.
If the year does not run out, nor the yard of course, will there for instance once be a time when music runs out? So that we will have a turn of year where there will not be a single piece of music to play at the occasion. Simply no more music left. Well, yes, and jokes will run out too. There will be nowhere to get them from and in the New Year Backyard Potterers send angry letters to TV about why is there so little fun in your fun shows.
And there will be no replies to the letters because all e-mails have run out too.
The year is new but the yard is old. The Potterer is not exactly new either, but nor maybe the oldest. Interesting - how far does the yard go, he thinks. It is an important issue, actually vitally important. One of the most widely spread catchphrases in Europe is "Not in my backyard!”, translated into Estonian – "Mitte minu õuel!”
This slogan is applied to colourful piggery and windmill, gravel pit and motorway, petrol station and peat bog actions and not even the Academy of Arts building escapes from the Backyard Ladies’ onslaughts.
Yes, but how far does the yard extend then? Where does my yard end, giving over to – what? : untouched (soul-touching) nature, gangue hills or maybe even the pub on the corner?
Fortunately there is no need to rack one’s brain any longer, the Potterer discovers as he happens to read a review of the fundamental scientific backyard studies of the researchers of the Vienna University of Veterinary Medicine.
Firstly – what is the common factor of a production plant and cattle housing? Of course the fact that a civilised European (beginning from pre-debt-crisis Greece) considers both necessary de jure but unthinkable de facto in his own yard area.
This post-Ancient-Greek does not want his nature view disturbed, or the atmospheric aromas enriched, be it with artificial or natural odours. Vienna veterinarian Günther Schauberger enrolled colleagues from Germany into his team and finally developed a mathematical model allowing the boundaries of a yard to be calculated. The researchers assure that their model is applicable to any odour, be it then from pigs or cows or hens and geese. And not only that, the model can be applied to factory chimneys too.
Schauberg points out that the model allows you to calculate the yard boundaries quickly - the "quick and dirty” method. This rapid calculation does lead to an over-estimate of the yard area, the scientist notes, but if animals are a bit crowded in their yard then more precise calculations can be made and even the wind direction can be taken in account. With the article - published in journal Atmospheric Environment - in hand the Potterer steps out in the yard and sets his nose to the wind.
It smells of atmosphere. Something must be done. The Potterer digs a hole in a corner of the yard. The ground isn’t frozen and the hole turns out beautifully. It will be warm and cosy when the snow comes.